Girly Mom

After a thrilling day one, we launched day two with a stroll around downtown Chattanooga.  I controlled my sweet tooth and only bought one caramel at the fudge shop and nothing in the candy store.  Thank you, thank you very much!

Around noon,  we took the kids to see a Mystery Theater show.  It was hilarious!  The lunchtime show is just for kids; the older kids (OK, the parents too) laughed the whole time.  The younger kids weren’t sure if it was funny or scary.

Next, we went to the zoo.  We saw some kind of kill-anyone who-comes-too-close breed of snake.  Completely disgusting!  We saw Red Pandas, a Snow Leopard, gorillas, Spider Monkeys, and lots of little creepy-crawly things.  The zoo also had an area where the kids could pet goats and ponies and little donkeys.  M and I were fine until we saw a slew of mice and we went running out of the barn.  Our husbands and the worker guy seemed amused at our distress.  Some things just aren’t right, and mice are at the top of that list.

After the zoo, we went out for dinner.  I figured I deserved a little treat after the nasty mice incident, so we ordered Chocolate Divine and Peanut Butter Cheesecake.  Delicious!  Then we walked around at an outdoor art festival.  I met a lady, and her cutie daughter, who sells her stuff on Etsy.  She was super nice and I love, love, love her books.  Then we headed back to the hotel and stayed up late talking and playing.

Another successful day of vacation!

On July 4th, we loaded up our three kids and headed to Chattanooga, Tennessee for the weekend.  I packed for a family of 12 heading to the desert for 4 weeks.  I’m a horrible packer, I admit it.  I always pack one outfit for each day, a few extras in case we go somewhere nice for dinner or someone gets their outfit dirty.  Plus, I always throw in a few extra items in case the weather goes all arctic on us.  And I never forget the shoes for dressing up and for dressing down and for walking around.  Unfortunately on this trip, I forgot sleeping bags, swim goggles and one kid’s medicine.  But hey, they sure did look good.

Anyway, we planned to leave around 10 in the morning, so of course it was noon when we pulled out of our driveway.  That’s actually not too bad for us.  We had a pleasant and uneventful drive, which any parent of small children will tell you, is a wonderful gift from above.

Our kids entertained themselves with their video games and movies and even looked up occasionally to enjoy the view.  We didn’t make the usual four stops every ten miles, which was great.  My husband and I were able to have an uninterrupted adult conversation.  I’d almost forgotten what that was like.

We checked into our hotel in Chattanooga, threw the luggage in our room, then headed off to Lake Winnie Amusement Park to meet our best friends, J and M, and their four kids.  We have traveled more times than I can count with them and surprisingly, they still seem to like us.

Using our parenting genius, we divided up so the kids could ride as many things as possible.  The toddlers rode a bunch of kiddie rides, including a mini roller coaster. I rode with the kids the first time and M rode with them the next go-round.  As is her luck, the coaster stopped part way into the ride.  She had to drag two of the kids out of the car and climb over the tracks.  She also got stuck in the hotel elevator on our NY trip last year, so I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised.  Crazy things always happen to her.

The bigger kids rode paddle boats, the ferris wheel and several spin-you-around-until-you-throw-up rides.  M and I agreed that we were insane to let our kids ride some of those rides.  We’ve put too much time and effort into getting them raised to this point to lose them on some crazy rickety old ride.  Our husbands just laughed at us.

The kids loved the park. We thought it seemed kinda dirty and some of the people there were just plain scary.  Maybe it’s not normally like that, but ewww.  It’s definitely not Disney, but it’s nearby and the kids had a blast.  Plus, I did enjoy a huge Icee and a funnel cake. That was definitely worth putting up with a few carny folk.

I’m a good mother.  I take care of my kids.  I bathe them and feed them.  I help them with homework.  I buy them clothes and shoes that they like (usually).  And I buy them toys.

But some of those toys, well, I just don’t have words for how much I hate them.  Today’s toy that I despise above all others is my daughter’s Slushee Maker.  I’m sitting here at the computer at a complete loss for words.  I HATE that thing.

First of all, I have to assemble it because it’s too hard for anyone under the age of 30.  Then, I have to add the ingredients because the canister gets so cold that your hands can go numb if you even touch it.

Next, I have to turn the handle because it’s too hard for anyone without body building experience.  So, I stand there for at least five minutes turning this impossible crank until my arm falls off on the floor.  That’s how we know when it’s ready.

Then, I have to endure my daughter’s pitiful look when the liquid doesn’t freeze (which is most of the time).  So I either do it all over again or refuse and try to live with her disappointment.

And she wonders why I never want to get that stupid thing down from the pantry so she can play with it.

I’m throwing it in the garbage!

OK, OK.  I know I won’t because, remember how I said I’m a good mother?  I’ll keep it and try to avoid getting it down for several more months.  Then, one day, I’ll give in, get it down, and go through the whole thing again.

I guess I wouldn’t fuss so much if it worked more often.  It might be worth the effort if we got something even partially frozen to come out.  I’ve just got to be more careful when buying toys for my kids.

And don’t even get me started on the Baby Alive that wet all over my stairs!

I’m not much of a crier.  Now that may seem odd, seeing as how I’m a self-proclaimed girly-girl.  I do get sad in movies and you might see a few tears roll down my face on occasion, but you will rarely see me blubbering uncontrollably.

I’m not saying blubbering is good or bad, it’s just not me.

Enter Trace Adkins.

I heard this song a few months ago.  I’m not so much a fan of country music, so where did I hear a song by a country musician?  Well, I was watching the season finale of Celebrity Apprentice (I kinda hate admitting that).

At the end of the show, Trace Adkins performed this heart-breaking little ballad called You’re Gonna Miss This.

Oh my word!

I was practically curled up in the fetal position on the sofa.  I’m a horrible person.  I’m missing all the good stuff.  He’s right!  He’s right!  I am going to miss this.  I already do.  These are the good times.  Help!  Someone make him shut up!

He finally ended his assault on my emotions.  I composed myself as best I could and tried to go about my day.  But I could not get those words out of my mind.  And even months later, here I am, blogging about how those words affect me.

When I hear or even mention that song, I fight back the urge to fall to the floor, wailing and bemoaning my failure to enjoy the moment.  I ask myself over and over, “Am I appreciating that spilled milk?  Am I enjoying listening to this tantrum?  Am I going to miss this argument?”

I think the answer to each specific question is no, I can live a fulfilling life if no one ever spills milk again.  But is that my focus?  Are these the times of spills and tantrums and arguments?

Or are these the times of learning and laughing and playing?  Am I focusing on the good things about right now?  I know I get caught up in all the negatives to the point that I fail to enjoy the fun stuff.

I relate to the line in the song that says,

“Dog’s barkin’, phone’s ringin’

One kid’s cryin’, one kid’s screamin’.”

Sometimes it seems like everything erupts simultaneously.  Two kids start fussing, the phone is ringing and I’m trying to make dinner while helping another kid study 4000 vocabulary words.  It’s difficult to feel like these are the good times.

But my parents assure me I will miss this time in my life.  They subtly remind me to enjoy this time with the kids.  They smile at the mess my kids make.  They laugh at little things my kids forget to do.  They sit back and enjoy watching it all.

These are good times.  I’m going to want them back.  I’m going to wish they hadn’t gone by so fast.

So thank you, Trace, for reminding me to appreciate right now.

Summer is all about sun, sand, BBQ and flip flops.  Yes, flip flops.  I love them.  They are comfy, cute and I can get several pair for the price on one pair of winter shoes.  What’s not to love?

Now, I love Havaianas.  They are absolutely the most comfy flip flop I’ve ever worn.  But sometimes, they just don’t work right with that little summer skirt or those cute capris I just got.

I wanted to find something different.  You know, a flip flop that looks a little dressier.  OK, I know that a flip flop can only be so dressy, but I wanted something that didn’t look like I just walked off the beach.

So,  I began my search for some new flip flops.  I looked in stores, through several catalogs and online.  Oh the work that we girls endure when shopping.

I was looking at my Garnet Hill catalog at some super cute skirts and there they were.  They were just what I was looking for.

Look at those fantabulous colors!  I love them all.  I ordered the red patent and the silver.  About a week later, I went back to order more and the color I wanted was on back order.  I really wanted to take them on our vacation, so I checked at Zappos.

And of course, I found them.  I love Zappos, just take a look at my credit card bill.  (Just kidding, honey.)

Zappos doesn’t carry all the same colors but they have most of them.  And you can’t beat the superior service from Zappos. Their free returns policy is insane!

So, I now have them in red, silver, and brown.  And today, while I was making sure my Zappos link worked, my fingers slipped and I accidentally ordered the yellow.  Oops…

I found the best lipstick ever.  It’s the perfect shade for me.  It looks great.  I mean, when I wear this stuff I look like a blonde Cindy Crawford.  OK, I don’t, but I think I’m lookin’ pretty not-so-bad when I wear it.

I went to the store to buy more, only to find that my perfect color had been replaced with a new trendy shade, some horrible shade of puke that no one would be caught dead wearing.  I guess the manufacturers thought no one would be caught dead wearing my “so last week” shade.

Why?  Why do they always do this to me?

Another example: I finally found a good facial cleanser, the kind that doesn’t cost 8 grand and removes all my makeup without sending my skin into a breakout frenzy.  After a month or so, I attempted to purchase more and what did I find?  There on the shelf, in MY cleanser’s place, was some new improved, i.e. totally different and more expensive, rash-causing version of my beloved cleanser.

I remember this happening when I was younger, too.  I’ve been left foundation-less, moisturizer-less, even Chipsters-less (these were the best chips ever and *they* just took them away).

This has even happened to my husband.  He found (OK, I found them) this underwear that he absolutely loves.  Want to guess what happened?  Yup, they got to those too.  At least I got lucky and found them at a local TJ Maxx and bought about 10 pair.  But what is he going to do when those wear out?

(Oh, honey, if you read this, don’t worry.  Nobody reads my blog and so no one will ever know I’m talking about your underwear, baby.  Mwah!)

What is a girl to do?  I hate going through the trial & error phase with products just to find the one that works for me, especially on everyday stuff like cleanser, foundation and moisturizers.

Thankfully, I have found a new lipstick.  And I replaced my cleanser a year ago.  But I’m living in a state of uncertainty, just waiting for my favoritest products to be banished from the shelves.

I’ve always been able to find replacement products that I like as much and sometimes even better.  But I want to change products when I’m ready, not when the manufacturer decides they’re tired of a product.  I mean, I know if a product isn’t selling well, it doesn’t make sense for a company to sell it.  But I hate being left all lipstick-less.

OK, this is just a little rant.  I really don’t spend all day (usually) crying over lipstick or screaming about discontinued potato chips (but they were so yummy).  It just irritates me when I’m forced to scramble for new stuff when I was perfectly happy with what I had.

So, what have you lost to the Discontinued-Product Nazis?

I’m a nice person. I really am.  I assume the best about people. I presume I’m the one who misunderstood the rude thing someone said. Or I figure others are having a bad day and really don’t mean their nasty remarks. I give them the benefit of the doubt.

Now if you’re mean constantly, I’ll be nice to your face, but I WILL start thinking that you just might not be a nice person.

Are you scared?  I know you are.

I think that makes me a big coward.

Shouldn’t I be able to stand up to someone who is being offensive and say, “Hey! No, no you icky person”?

Sadly, I cannot.  Maybe I should take a class? Any meany teachers out there?

I’d like to have a small can of mean I could open up on somebody that needed it.  I’ve tried, but it always seems to come out as a lame compliment.  I want to tell people that I don’t like what they’re saying or doing to their face.

My husband says I’m good at standing up to him if he’s being mean. I think that’s because I know he loves me and he won’t judge me or think bad about me if I tell him the truth.

Hey, there’s a clue. Maybe I’m so afraid of someone not liking me or thinking bad about me, that I don’t want to risk telling them the truth. That’s pretty pathetic. Why should I worry so much about the opinions of all the yucky people?

I’m on a mission now. I’m going to try to be mean at least once a week (to someone other than my husband). I don’t mean MEAN for the sake of being mean. I mean MEAN as in, if you are being a condescending little dolt, I just might think about perhaps asking you to consider the possibility of acting in some more positive way while in my general vicinity.

Yeah, that sounds mean. I can do that.

I love the beach! And we are finally here. I feel like I’m exactly where I should be every time I come to Destin, Florida.

We left home late Friday afternoon and drove about four hours then stopped for the night. I’m not brave enough or medicated enough to ride much longer than that with three kids. But, they were surprisingly good. The two oldest watched movies and played their DS games. The youngest watched movies, looked at books and listened to the iPod. I love you, Hannah Montana and Scooby Doo. Thanks to them, my husband and I had several uninterrupted five-minute conversations. It was great.

We made it to Destin on Saturday and headed to Buster’s for lunch. We love Buster’s! They make the best fried crab claws, chargrilled fish sandwiches and fried pickles. Not the healthiest meal, but so delicious.

We stuffed ourselves and then headed to our beach rental. My favorite part of the house is the roomy kitchen and family area with the huge tv. I’m sure my husband is going to be dreaming about that tv for a while.

My parents, sister and brother-in-law arrived later. The kids were so happy to see someone besides us. It wasn’t long before the kids had them playing hide-and-go-seek in the house.

On Memorial Day, we grilled ribs and the kids spent most of the day in the pool. My husband and I walked and jogged along the beach. Somehow it feels less like work when I can look at the water while I exercise. It’s also cool to watch all the people, except for all the icky skinny people that make me feel super fat. If you’re one of those skinny people, I’m only calling you icky because I’m deeply jealous.

My brother-in-law took my two oldest kids to the beach. They found a bucket-full of coquina shells. And of course my 8 year old wants to keep them as pets. Later, my husband and I took our 3 year old back to the beach to play. She stands at the edge of the water, holds her arms out and says, “Calm down, just calm down,” trying to keep the water from knocking her over. She’s so cute!

We have tons of relaxing to do this week. And I’m sure we’ll throw in a few more eating frenzies. I mean, that’s what vacation is all about, right?

I love it here!

A few years ago, I took a girls-only trip to New York with my mom and sister.  It was in that fantastical city that I found Sephora, now my most favoritest place to buy makeup.  I love that I can try all the products before buying them.  Plus I have access to skilled makeup pros who are ready to answer questions or perform quick makeovers.

It was on this visit to the Holy Hall of Makeup that I discovered a powerful secret that would change my life.

After I wandered around the store a while, a saleswoman offered to help me find a few products for my baby blues.  She led me and my droopy little eyes over to a chair and began to work her magic.  She applied some beautiful eye-shadow colors and the best mascara ever to my drab eyes.

Then she pulled out a nondescript little pencil called Cargo Reverse Lipliner.  She told me I could use this pencil two different ways.  First, she outlined my lips to highlight their shape and keep the lipstick from spreading all over my face.

This lip liner is a light ivory color (they make a darker one for dark skin).  She told me it would add definition and fullness to my lips, which it did.  Although the color was different from other liners that I’ve used, it still was just a lip liner.

But my favorite — the really eye-opening new thing to do with this liner — is what my personal Makeup Maven did next.  She used this pencil to line the inside of my lower eyes, just above my lower lashes.

No!  I am not kidding.  This beauty trick actually made my eyes look brighter.  I looked rested even though I’d been up late every night of our trip.

This seventh wonder of my makeup world is now on my Can’t Live Without It list.  I am totally devoted to this mini miracle stick.  I mean, who wouldn’t love to look rested and bright-eyed every day?

You know, it just occurred to me that perhaps more women know about this liner than I realize.  You know all those moms at school that do everything and look good doing it and make the rest of us feel like shlumpadinkas?  Maybe they know this little trick.   Maybe they run around in a sleep-deprived state like the rest of us.  They just line their eyelids with this stuff and fool us all.

Well, at least I’m in on their little secret now.

The other day I went to the grocery store with my children.  I don’t recommend it, but sometimes we do what we have to do.

I approached the deli counter.  A girl rushed over from the far side to take my order.  She winked at me, then asked, “What can I get for you?”  I smiled and placed my order for 1/2 pound of honey maple ham.  She returned the smile, with another wink, and proceeded with the slicing.

Meanwhile, my kids spotted the drink machine.  I gave in to their cries of looming death from dehydration and let them get a drink.  It was a fountain drink machine, so they each made a suicide (mixing all the drink flavors).  As I watched their assault on the machine, I heard Deli Girl’s voice.

“Sorry,” I said.  “Did you need something?”

Deli Girl asked, “How are these slices?” and winked at me again.  Huh?

“Great,” I replied, a little uncomfortably.

“Would you like a taste?” Deli Girl asked, never taking her eyes off me.

I told her no thanks and turned back to the kids.  Why was she staring at me?

I walked over to my kids, who were on the verge of spilling their drinks while trying to put lids on them. By some small miracle, we got the lids on without any mess.  As soon as I turned around, there she was, Deli Girl, with my bag of ham.

“Here you go.” she said, standing oddly close to me.

“Thanks.”

“I LOVE your handbag.  It looks sooo good,” Deli Girl said, still all up in my personal space.

I was feeling beyond uncomfortable.  This was more than good customer service.  She must have an agenda here.  What did she want from me?

I quickly told her where I purchased my bag and that it wasn’t expensive at all (I do love a bargain).  I thanked her for bringing the ham out to me and herded my kids towards the fruits and vegetables, relieved to put some distance between us.

While perusing the fruit, I looked up to check on my kids, who were now trying to sneak stuff into the shopping cart.  Guess who was heading my way, smiling bigger than ever?  Yes!

Deli Girl slowed a little as she approached me, then passed and disappeared into a back room.  Was she stalking me?

The next day, I pulled out the deli ham to make a sandwich.  I realized Deli Girl had given me one pound of deli ham but only charged me for the 1/2 pound I ordered.

And then it hit me.  I mean, all the clues were there.  She smiled and winked at me.  She wanted to talk and be close to me.  She complimented my good taste in accessories.  She even gave me free stuff.  Who does that?

Deli Girl, that’s who.  She wants me for her new best friend.

Well, I accept.  I mean, what more could you want in a friend than someone who lights up when she sees you and gives you free meat?

See you next week, BFF!