Girly Mom

I hate pee.

I am averse to all things potty-related.  I just don’t deal with it well.

Enter my 3 year old daughter, Darlin’, as she prefers to be called.  She is on the brink of this rite of passage.  But she refuses to take that monumental step into the exciting world of “big girls”.

I started over a year ago with little potty-positive comments.  I regaled her with stories of girls that braved this journey and now held their heads high in Big Girl Land. I sat her on the potty before her bath so she could get the feel of things.  I used all the preliminary techniques to prepare her for the “coming out”.

This was all great until the fateful day I suggested she take her potty training to the next level by actually peeing in the potty.  Big mistake.  Huge!

So, I backed off.

But the damage was done.  She no longer agreed to even sit on the potty.  When I suggested it, she screamed as if I were trying to shove her head down the little hole in the bottom of the toilet. That’s not to say I hadn’t considered it.

So I tried reasoning with her.  Silly, I know, but when I’m desperate, I’ll try anything.

“You’re getting to be such a big girl,” I say.  “I know you can go to the potty like mom & dad.”

She replied, “I don’t want to be a big girl.  I’m just Darlin’.”

Ok, that didn’t work.  I tried another angle.

“It’s so much easier to go in the potty.  WE won’t have to spend all this time changing your diaper.  Doesn’t that sound better?”

“No, Mommy.  It’s really easy to potty in my diaper,” she answered.  Well, she’s got me there.

Finally I sank to bribery.  My oldest kids couldn’t resist this tactic.

She took the bait.  Angels were singing; hope was born.  Darlin’ was wearing Little Mermaid underwear!  I was a genius.

But thirty minutes later the dream ended with her screaming and crying in a puddle of pee.

So today, I officially give up.  Maybe I’ll find it in me to try again, maybe I won’t.  Do Depends cost more than Pampers?

Anyway, if your child comes home from 5th grade one day talking about the girl in class that can change her own diaper, well, that’s my Darlin’.